Meet Janice, Part 3

            “No, Michael,” sighed Janice, “He’s not in.” She nodded, to no one in particular and took down a note. “Yes, yes, of course I’ll give him your message. Yes. Good. Thank you too.” She paused. “Oh and can you tell your brother not to call me back again? Thank you.”

Janice was all too eager to let the phone drop back into its cradle. Then it rang again. “Hello?” She cringed. “Goddam- Gabriel I told you he’d call you back when he got back. Not before.”

The room grew hotter and Janice felt relief swell in her. “Hold on, Gabe. I think he’s-”

When Satan entered, it didn’t look good. He was still dressed in his suave designer suit, but his shoulders were slumped low toward his chest and his black eyes were focused on the ground. He barely gestured to Janice in his passing.

“Gabe? He’s going to call you back.” Despite Gabriel’s cries of protest, the phone was set back on the receiver. “Satan?” Satan had left his office door open, waiting for Janice to follow. And she did, with clipboard in hand.

He fell back into his chair, his eyes were distant. Janice tried to ignore it. “You have 47 missed calls, most of them from Gabriel, so you shouldn’t have much trouble with-” she eyed him. “Did your lunch not go so well?”

Satan shrugged.

“I’m going to need you to communicate in words,” sneered Janice.

“If Jehovah can be indirect with his answers, then I can be too.”

Janice let her arms fall to her side and rest on her hips. “You’re not getting on about your Daddy issues again are you?”

His eye twitched and Janice noticed it getting warmer in the room.

Janice stepped into Satan’s line of sight. “Talk to me. With words.”

Satan’s lips were caught in a pout and he said nothing. So, Janice slapped him.

Satan’s flesh dipped into a deeper shade of red, almost as black as his eyes. He stood up and towered over her. Suddenly it wasn’t warm at all, but bitterly cold. “You. How dare- you haven’t done that-”

“Since the last time I slapped you,” Janice said coolly, head cocked back to glare into his big, black eyes.

The room gradually returned to a reasonable temperature. Satan stepped back, slumping into his chair. “That was ages ago,” he sighed.

Janice nodded, “Yes it was.”

He glanced up at her. “You went by another name then.”

“I did,” she smiled, “But Janice has a better ring to it. For a secretary.”

“You’re much more than that,” said Satan.

“And you’re much more than a son looking for Daddy’s approval.”

Satan smirked. “That’s Gabriel’s job, isn’t it?”

“Isn’t it, though?” Janice paused, “I know you well enough to know that you asked the Big Guy about Mrs. Timely.”

He nodded.

“And I think I know him well enough to know that he didn’t really give you any real answers.”

He nodded again.

“So now you’re worried you don’t have any answers for her.”

A third time.

“You know, you don’t need to have them.” Janice looked out Satan’s window. “Sometimes you can’t explain something away to a person, they need to walk the path themselves. You’re going to need a very specific skill for that. You’ll need patience.”

Satan smirked. “Kind of like Jehovah?”

“Kind of like him.”

 

“Mrs. Timely?” Janice stood at the open office door, letting the heat of the flames mess up her hair. The little woman walked up, cautiously. She clearly didn’t want to be back here, but she had nowhere else to go. Janice smiled. “Welcome back.”

Satan was waiting for them in his office, he smiled. “Good to see you again, Mrs. Timely. Please take a seat.”

Meet Janice, Part 1

            The phone had been ringing in a low, calming beeping noise for the past three minutes. Janice raised an eyebrow; there was only one entity that would be willing to be that persistent. She took the phone off the receiver. “Satan’s Office.”

She nodded cool and took some notes, “I’m sorry, Jehovah, but Satan’s in a meeting right now,” She massaged her wrinkled temples, “No. He’s not always in a meeting… Yes, I’ll personally tell him you called.” She hung up.

Janice glanced at the clock and sighed. It was already fifteen past three and there was still so much to do. She got up and straighten her pencil skirt, then proceeded, clipboard in hand to the front door which read;

Janice braced herself and then opened the office door. A wave of heat crashed over her, throwing back her graying brown hair into a wild frenzy  and forcing her blazer to dance to and fro. She adjusted her spectacles. “Mrs. Timely? I have a three fifteen appointment with Mrs. Timely?” she shouted into the flames.

There was a general chorus of screams, groans, growls and crying, but no response to Janice.

“Mrs. Timely?”

“Present!” came a reply.

Janice turned to greet the woman, and raised an eyebrow. She was used to seeing faces down here that didn’t necessarily match the condemned-for-all-entirety profile, but sometimes she was still caught off guard. Mrs. Timely was a head shorter than Janice, with long brown hair that looked like it needed a good brushing. She was old enough to have laugh lines on her face, but too young for wrinkles of any other sort. Janice nodded. “This way.”

1. Timely followed Janice into the office and breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh! It’s so cool in here!”

Janice put on her work-smile. “Yes, we fixed the AC last week. It was torture otherwise. Please, take a seat.” Mrs. Timely did as she was bid. “Satan will be with you shortly, but first I must clarify your visit.”

“Alright,” said Mrs. Timely, rubbing her hands together.

Janice took up her clipboard. “I already have your name, so… age upon death?”

“35.”

“Religion?”

“Catholic, or I was born into it,” she smiled nervously, “I never really practiced.”

“Few do.” Janice smiled reassuringly, “Finally, cause of death?”

“… Suicide.”

Janice nodded without batting an eye. Mrs. Timely almost seemed surprised. “We don’t judge here, Mrs. Timely, we just take what comes in.”

“Ah,” nodded Mrs. Timely, but it was clear that she didn’t really understand at all. “C-can I ask you something?”

Janice checked her wrist watch. “Hm?”

“Why was I asked here? I’m not sure what procedure is down here, but I-”

When the hand hit twenty past the hour exactly, she gestured for Mrs. Timely to stand up. “Satan will see you now.”

Janice lead a shaking Mrs. Timely into the next room. Satan liked a simple, sleek decor, much to Janice’s disapproval. The room was laid out in black and white, both colors making a bold, artistic statement against each other. Satan, a lover of dramatics, had his chair facing away from the door and out toward the fiery canyon beyond his window. All that could be seen of him as his obsidian spiral horns that crested over his chair. “Please, make yourself comfortable, Mrs. Timely.” His voice was deep and cold, almost like thick snow crunching together.

Per the norm, Janice had to lead, almost drag the woman to the flush chair in front of Satan’s desk. When Mrs. Timely sat, Janice patted her on the shoulder, trying to give her some reminiscence of strength.

“Thank you, Janice,” Satan turned his chair around and Mrs. Timely gasped. Janice knew that sound and it was one more so of surprise than horror. Satan’s skin was a deep, blood red and his eyes were completely black, as black and shiny like his horns. His face was narrow and came to a point at his chin where he wore a goat-like goatee. Janice liked to joke that it was the goatee that they gasped at, but no, rather, it was how kind his face looked. Everything else aside, it was hard to be frightened of Satan. Unless, of course, he wanted you to be.

Satan looked at Janice with an eye that told her she should linger at the door, so she did. Then he turned his attention to the shivering woman. “Welcome, Rebecca, I hope you’re well.” Timely seemed to shutter at her own name. She almost spoke but her words were all mumbled.

“I see.” Satan placed his hands on his desk, “Do you know why I called you here?”

“Because… I took my own life?”

“No. I mean, that’s the reason why you’re in this general area, yes, but not why I set up this appointment.” He cleared his throat, “Rebecca, there are two kinds of people who come to Hell, you see. Those who deserve to be punished for whatever time is necessary… and those who believe they belong here.”

Janice stood ready; this didn’t always go was well as Satan had hoped.

“Rebecca, you belong in the latter category.”Timely looked up, confused. “B-but I took my own life… that’s a sin.”

Satan nodded. “You’re right, that’s a sin. One really shouldn’t squander the gift of life, but we need some context first before we proceed.” Mrs. Timely tensed up. “You killed yourself for a reason. Can you tell me what?” Timely’s breath became audible and shallow. She couldn’t keep looking at Satan and just focused on her shoes.

“Should I start?” asked Satan.

Timely froze. “You know?”

“I know that you were married for six years, Rebecca, to a man that thought he was ‘fixing’ you.” Mrs. Timely grasped the arms of the chair, bracing herself from her own convulsions.

“I know that you fell in love with someone, someone who wasn’t your husband, because you never really loved him.”

Timely threw her head up and protested, “I loved Henry!”

Satan looked her dead in the “But not in the same way you loved Samantha.”

“Timely threw back the chair she was sitting in. “Is this what you do here?! Is this another form of torture!? You’re just rubbing it in aren’t you?! The reason why I did it! The reason why-!” Mrs. Timely suddenly collapsed and held herself tightly. “I knew it was wrong. I knew I shouldn’t. But she seduced me! She knew my weaknesses and… and I was happy with her! Happy!”

Janice ran to Mrs. Timely’s side and knelt beside her. “Mrs. Timely?”

“Henry found out… Henry knew what I had done and told me of my sins. I knew I was dirty. I was horrid. There was no hope for me. None… so… I…”

Satan put a hand on Rebecca’s shoulder, and she stopped shivering. “Loving someone is not a sin, Rebecca,” he said firmly, “But you have to believe that to get out of here. Otherwise you’ll just linger…”

It took Janice thirty minutes to collect Mrs. Timely together and send her away with another appointment within the week. “It was good to meet you, Mrs. Timely,” said Janice.

“Meet you…” Mrs. Timely echoed as she left.

Satan sighed and leaned on his desk with a long, sad look on his face. “Did I miss any calls?” he said finally, trying to let the stress of the appointment slip away.

“Jehovah called-”

“Christ!” he swore, “I forgot today was our coffee day!”

Janice pinched her lips into a tight smile. “Yes. He wasn’t too pleased…”

Homecoming – Part III

The ranks of Hell numbered in the hundreds of thousands, perhaps even millions, and they were all loosed on the Earth like a great and terrible plague of carnage and terror.  Ravenous flames tore throughout cities, countries all over the world; steel  warped, stone crumbled, and glass turned to liquids as all that humanity had ever built tumbled down to the Earth. There was not a place upon the planet where one could not hear the sound of screaming.

Aaron gazed up into the thick haze of smoke and ash that blanketed the sky, the sun was all but invisible. He could imagine all of the angels in Heaven looking down with shock and horror, tears staining their faces, anger and sadness in their hearts. And they would turn to God with questioning glares and He would be forced to decide: watch as the hordes of Hell demolished His precious Earth, the crown of creation, or either—

“Hello, Aaron,” said a familiar voice.

Aaron turned to see a figure, nearly silhouetted by bright rays of light that beamed outwards behind him. Still, Aaron could recognize the silhouette as if the figure was standing in the plain light of day. “Rion?”

“What has it been, two, three hundred years? I had hoped it would be longer, if at all.”

“No,” Aaron shook his head. “You’re dead. I killed you.”

“By his stripes I am healed.” Rion walked forward, the light behind him, his wings, folding into him as if his own personal sun had set. He was covered in armor that shimmered like diamonds embedded with stars.

Aaron stood still, his mouth agape in awe. It was as if Rion had stepped out of the past and right in front of him. He was a glittering image of Heaven, all that they had shunned and left behind those thousands of years ago. “After everything, you were taken back? Given back your wings? Just like that?”

Rion smiled, “We all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.”

“Don’t give me that righteous bullshit, Rion!” Aaron clenched his fist, the sharp claws of his black, icy gauntlet biting into his palms. “You abandoned paradise and you were the last one who wanted to go back. You told me as much yourself. What reason could He have possibly had to bring you back into the fold?”

A somberness swept across Rion’s countenance and he looked more serious than he ever had before. “I didn’t want to go back. I needed to. So I could be here today to stop you from doing what you’re about to do.”

Aaron began to laugh haughtily, “Stop me? You think you can stop me? Your precious humanity is hanging on by a thread. As we speak, every single demon of Hell is roaming this Earth, wreaking calamity and death. Even if you stop me, the entirety of the heavenly host will not be able to stop us all. If you want to stop me, you can fly back up to Heaven and tell Him to surrender, open the gates, and let us in. Because if not, we will rend the wings from every single angels and fly to Heaven ourselves and siege the kingdom for our own.”

“And then what?” asked Rion, his stern visage unwavering.

Aaron was taken aback. “And then… then we rule. Heaven, Hell, and Earth will be under our dominion, we will reign over all of creation.”

“And how long until you grow bored of it, as you grow bored of everything?”

Aaron’s eyes grew wide. He moved his mouth to speak but no words came out.

“Aaron, my friend. I am not here to fight you. I will not. If you truly believe that you will find eternal bliss when you and the hordes of Hell capture heaven, my wings are yours to take. But please, before you make this decision, do this one thing.”

Rion stared his friend directly into his eyes. With all that Aaron had done, Rion did not look upon him with vengeance or wrath. No, there was not the slightest bit of anger in Rion’s glare. Only empathy and compassion.  “What would you have me do?” asked Aaron.

“Take a moment to ask yourself if this is truly what you want. How long will you truly enjoy Heaven before you begin to look longingly down to Earth and wish you’d stayed?”

Aaron took a deep breath. “I don’t know, old friend. But, unfortunately, there’s only one way to find out.”